IELTS writing task 2 (Topic: Education) - Give me a band score and show me my mistakes, please. Thank you!

Topic: Online classes make conventional classrooms unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Since the significant development of advanced technology, many eductional institutions have accessed to networked classes which play a large-scale in today society and make traditional classes become unneeded. From my opinion, I partially agree with this view as there are some drawbacks that cannot be ignored.

On the one hand, I believe that studying lessons through online classes has a vast array of benefits for students. Firstly, thanks to its convinience, students may overcome geographical boundaries and less time-consuming to prepare before classes commences. Besides, networked classes are also appropriate during pandemic like Covid-19 as it would be safer and students are able to catch up with their curriculum while having isolation. In addtion, people might feel more comfortable and effortless because even if they miss their classes, it is accessible to record the lessons in order to review later.

On the other hand, I suppose that despite its advantages, online classes still have some considerable feedbacks and cannot totally change the conventional ones. First, due to the limited time of each lesson, there would be a lack of interaction. As a result, students are not only distracted from their vital lessons, but also gradually become a passively creative person who always wait for teachers’ ideas instead of brainstorming themselves. Moreover, studying on the Internet require people to have sufficient and high-quality devices which is not feasible for the poor students, let alone other issues incurring unexpectedly. Consequently, they absolutely cannot attend online classes that may become their barrier preventing them from being educated.

To conclude, I admit that online classes are essential recently since they bring about plentiful convinences, however, it is undeniable that the modernization of technology is not always the outstanding choices for everyone who is underprivileged.