IELTS Writing task 2: Teaching good behaviour to children

Please help me to correct this essay. Thank you so much!

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

These days, teaching children is vitally significant in many countries. Whiles many people believe that punishing strictly is the best way to help them distinguish the discrepancy between right and wrong, in my opinion, there are also some more effective methods to guide kids into the right track.

Firstly, the effectiveness of giving punishment cannot be denied. Kids at a very young age usually do not know how to behave precisely, thus, they just do whatever they want instinctively. However, if they make a mistake and receive a punishment for it, they will realize that what they have done is wrong and remind themselves not to repeat this fault to avoid punishment in the future. For instance, my 5-year-old niece is used to cry a lot when she could not get her favorite toys at the supermarket, after getting punishment from her parents for prohibiting playing with any toys 1 week afterward, she immediately changes her behavior when going shopping.

However, parents and teachers also can use some other methods to teach good behavior to children, for example, being a good role for kids or listening and talking to their problems in a friendly way. Kids at an early age usually observe adults around them and imitate exactly what they have seen. Thus, it is definitely crucial for parents and teachers to become a perfect person for children to follow. Even a 3-year-old kid will absolutely know how to greet older people politely and correctly if they see their parents do the same thing everyday and everytime. Moreover, spending time tly talk to receiving punishment or getting a scolding.

To sum up, from my point of view, although punishment is necessary for teaching children's attitude, there are also some methods can be used to help them become a good person in the future.