IELTS writing task 2: Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others believe individuals can also do somethings to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Question

Good morning,My name is Duy. I am practicing writing and aim to get 6.5 in IELTS exam next month. I am very appreciate for your correction and any suggestion for improving my essay as well as my writing. Thank you very much.My essay:People have different views on the responsibility for solving environmental problems. While some people believe that tackling these problems should belong to the governments or organizations, others think that individuals could also take steps to tackle these problems. I believe that both governments and individuals play important role on address these issues.On the one hand, the governments could make greater effort to address environmental problems. They could introduce laws to limit emission from factories or to ban private cars traveling to cities throughout rush hours. By applying these policies, companies will use alternatiive renewable energy such as sollar or wind power to supply their machines and people would prefer walking or using public transportation than driving their private cars. These could help to reduce emission releasing into the environment.However, I would argue that each person also could help to reduce the pollution. They could use recycle or reusable bags to curb plastic waste released to the ocean. They also can take public transport instead of private one. By using public transport, we could help to reduce exhaust fume from vehicles into the atmostsphere. They could also held a campaign to raise the awareness to community about protecting the environment.In conclusion, both national governments and individuals must play their part in looking after the environment.

Quynh huong 4710 · Accepted Answer

Hi Duy,

I am also practicing IELTS to get 6.5 overall. Generally speaking, your essay has ideas, however, I see some points to correct here:

- Your introduction is a little bit lengthy, I think we just need one general sentence + 1 sentence about your opinion about this statement.

- 1st paragraph:

+ Your topic sentence is not clear. You should show what the government have but individuals do not (power, money)

+ I think the government should impose laws on .... (not introduce because factories may not follow)

+ In fact, we cannot ban the private vehicles, so this argument is not strong.

+ Grammar: prefer walking ... to....; emissions, released)

- 2nd paragraph:

+ You should explain why individuals should do these and give examples if possible, a list of things might not be suitable in Ietls. I think you should rewrite all.

+ Grammar: pollution (no article), launch campaigns to raise public awareness

- Your conclusion: too short. Grammar: the government = the authorites

- Your grammatical structure doesn't vary, and lack of cohesion and coherence, linking words.

- You have "On the one hand" so you must have "On the other hand" in 2nd paragraph.

- Try to avoid "will" in Ielts.

- I think you should write this essay again.

Best.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line. Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
Message Body:
Topic:...
My essay
Topic: Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others believe individuals can also do somethings to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views on the responsibility for solving environmental problems. While some people believe that tackling these problems should belong to the governments or organizations, (too vague. You can use: one or more of these: non-governmental organizations, industry, corporations.) others think that individuals could also take steps to tackle these problems. I believe that both governments and individuals play (missing word) important role on (wrong preposition) address (wrong form) these issues.

On the one hand, the governments could make (missing word) greater effort to address environmental problems. They could introduce laws to limit emission (wrong form) from factories or to ban private cars traveling to cities throughout (wrong word - during, in) rush hours. By applying these policies, companies will use alternatiive renewable energy such as sollar or wind power to supply their machines and people would prefer ~~walking~~ to walk or ~~using~~ use public transportation (missing word) than driving their private cars. These could help to reduce emission (wrong form) releasing (wrong form) into the environment.

However, I would argue that each person also could help to reduce ~~the~~ pollution. They could use recycle (wrong form) or reusable bags to curb plastic waste released to the ocean. They also can take public transport instead of private one. (wrong usage - instead of a private car.) By using public transport, we could help to reduce exhaust fume (wrong form) from vehicles (missing words) into the atmostsphere. They could also held (wrong form) a campaign to raise the awareness to (missing word) community about protecting the environment.

In conclusion, both national governments and individuals must play their part in looking after the environment.

IELTS writing task 2: Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others believe individuals can also do somethings to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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