IELTS Writing Task 2 - Sharing household chores

Please help me review this essay, thank you! With this kind of ex, should I develop my ideas like this or should I write 2 paragraphs talking about the benefits of sharing housework for man and women?

Both men and women these days work full-time, so it is logical for them to share household chores equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that nowadays, women and men should share the responsibility in doing the housework as their time for working is equal. From my perspective, I completely agree with this idea.

As the world is changing, the role of women in the labour workforce has become more vital, thus it is inevitable that their duty in the family also changes. Historically, the division of labour is determined by the money that people make in their family. In the past, most of the jobs were heavy and required excellent physical strength so men were in favour of those jobs, resulting in the fact that women stayed at home taking care of the whole family. However, the number of employment is increasing, granting greater access to the labour market for women. Thus, they can earn as much as a man does, sharing the responsibility of making money with their partner. As the role in society for men and women changes, so do their responsibilities at home.

In addition, sharing household chores helps people increase the harmony in their life. Since everyone in the family is occupied with their work, allocating housework would reduce the burden for each other. If only women take care of the domestic chores, she may be constantly under pressure since she has no time to relax after a working day. As this status continues for a long time, their marriage would be in danger when the woman feels that she can no longer bear with the heavy workload at the workplace and at home. Therefore, men and women should divide the chores with each other to ensure the stability of their marriage.

In conclusion, considering the changing role of women in society and the benefits of sharing household chores, I think that the housework should be done equally by both genders.