IELTS Writing Task 2 review needed

Many people believe in accepting unpleasant situations rather than attempting to solve the problems. While there are some benefits of tolerating, I would argue that it would be more beneficial to try to improve these situations.

Enduring tough situations is often desirable for many reasons. First, it could reduce the stress a person has to bear. When dealing with stress stimuli, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, the human body often reacts with the fight-or-flight stress response. In many instances, individuals would choose to give up as doing so puts less strain on their minds. Fighting back the stressors in such stressful situations could place additional distress to their already tense nervous system which could be detrimental to the mental health. Moreover, there might be many cases in which striving against difficulties is not an option so standing would be the preferable decision to make.
On the other hand, one could learn various lessons when endeavouring to deal with tough situations such as overcoming fears and making decisions. By choosing to deal with these circumstances, the mind is being trained to make conscious decisions and to cope with despair. In addition, taking attempts to overcome unfortunate situations could result in positive outcome. For instance, the Israelis had been fighting for their nation for thousands of years before finally declaring independence in 1940. Had it not been for their determination, Israel would currently be part of the Muslim World.
In conclusion, while the dispute about people’s attitudes towards unpleasant experiences still continues, I am of the opinion that seeking for improvements would be superior to accepting.