IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - RELATIONSHIP AND AGE

Hi, please help me to review my essay on the topic of RELATIONSHIP. Many thanks.

As children become adults, their social behavior changes in some ways.

What are the main differences between young children’s social behavior and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

My essay:

Apart from physical changes, communication and reactions towards certain events are the two major elements that distinguish youngster and adults in terms of social behaviors. In my opinion, such changes have a positive effect on the development of any individuals.

The first thing that makes adults' social behavior stand out from that of children is the openness in communicating. In other words, while children tend to be more confident and straightforward, adults seem to be quite reluctant to express their feelings and opinion for the fear of communication breakdown. Take telling lies for example, as young children, people are educated that it would be bad and shameful to be a liar. However, when older, they tend to change their attitude towards these and believe that under certain relationships, such as one between a doctor and his patients, lies can be acceptable. Furthermore, unlike adults, children may do whatever they like without considering its consequences, which is the second marked difference between the two age groups.

Therefore, it can be said that these changes play an important role in improving humans social behavior. Though being straightforward is advisable, it is more important to remember that communication is complex, requiring people to be flexible in some cases. For example, the frankness of our words may sometimes hurt our friends' feelings unnecessarily. Moreover, unlike children, adults have a smaller circle of friends and share less with them for the sake of their owns. Not all friends are as kind and decent as in children's eyes, thus a few relationships do not mean isolation but save them from bad friends who may take advantage of our honesty.

In brief, the older people get, the more cautious they are when it comes to making friends. They carefully choose their partners and are reluctant to share much about their life than children do. Nevertheless, such things help people to be more aware of their behaviors and justify when needed.