IELTS WRITING TASK 2: POOR NATIONS

Question

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is undeniable that in order to develop sustainably, impoverished countries are in need of advancement in healthcare, education and trade. However, people have different views whether the authorities of developed nations should take steps to aid poorer countries in these sectors. I believe that affluent nations should step forward to help underprivileged nations escape poverty.

To begin with, it is true that poverty-striken nations are vulnerable to epidemics, which can have a negative impact on the survival of human beings and the development of the world economy. The outbreak of Ebola disease in South Africa in 2012 resulted in mass loss of lives, affecting both the local and international trade at the time. Therefore, richer countries should divert more attention to these fragile areas to avoid catastrophic scenerios in the future.

Secondly, in terms of education, because of its vital nature, more funding from affluent countries should be alloted to this field, especially of low-income countries. This will open up education to a wider section of poor students who wish to advance in their studies. As a result, the society will reap the benefit from increasing number of educated workers which is unattainable without a proper education system.

Finally, a number of poor nations have the prospects to become industrialized nations. If this becomes a reality, the world’s economy will be expanded. This in turns will help other poor countries escape poverty. Japan used to be the sufferer of poverty in the post-war period, but quickly rose to industrialization with the help of rich countries.

In conclusion, my view is that impoverished countries should receive aid from the governments of richer nations to be lifted above the poverty line, ensuring their sustainable development.

Could you give a score to this piece of writing?

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Biên Ph?mTo what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

That is the essay prompt. To get a good score, you must answer the essay prompt in the first paragraph. But there is no answer in your writing.

The answer to the question "to what extent" requires an adverb of extent. Do you know these adverbs? They are very useful for your vocabulary, because this is a very common question on Task 2 exams.

Your argument points are not very strong ones and you need to stay laser-focused on the topic.

~~It is undeniable that~~ (That is useless "filler" text. You will improve your score by making every word effective.)

In order to develop sustainably, impoverished countries are in need of advancement in healthcare, education and trade. However, people have different views whether the authorities of developed nations should take steps to aid poorer countries in these sectors. I believe that affluent nations should step forward to help underprivileged nations escape poverty.

To begin with, ~~it is true that~~ (Would you write something that is false? These are useless words. Delete them.) poverty-striken nations are vulnerable to epidemics, (Rich nations are vulnerable to epidemics, too. Viruses don't pay attention to wealth. Your point is not a very strong one. Can you think of another healthcare related problem that poor nations suffer from and wealthy countries do not? ) which can kill many people and set a country's development back. ~~have a negative impact on the survival of human beings~~ and the development of the world economy. (The topic is the economy of poor countries, not the global economy. The poorest countries do not have much international trade at all. Please stay focused on the topic. If you do not, you will lose points for "task completion".) The outbreak of Ebola ~~disease~~ in ~~South~~ west Africa in 2012 resulted in mass loss of lives, affecting both the local and international trade at the time. Therefore, richer countries should divert more attention to these fragile areas to avoid catastrophic scenerios in the future.

Secondly, in terms of education, because of its vital nature, more funding from affluent countries should be alloted to building more schools in developing nations and providing teachers or teacher education. ~~this field~~, ~~especially of low-income countries~~. (The entire topic is low-income countries. You should not need to repeat this. See my example text. ) This will open up education to ~~a wider section of~~ poor students who wish to advance in their studies. As a result, the society will reap the benefit from increasing number of educated workers which is unattainable without a proper education system.

Finally, ~~a number of~~ poor nations have the prospects to become industrialized ~~nations~~. If this becomes a reality, the world’s economy will be expanded. This in turns (wrong form) will help other poor countries escape poverty. Japan used to be ~~the sufferer of poverty~~ poor in the post-war period, but quickly redeveloped its industry ~~rose to industrialization~~ with the help of rich countries.

In conclusion, my view is that impoverished countries should receive aid from the governments of richer nations to be lifted ~~above the~~ out of poverty ~~line~~, ensuring their sustainable development.

IELTS WRITING TASK 2: POOR NATIONS

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