[IELTS Writing Task 2 ] Pls help me correct this and estimate my bandscore

Topic: Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying history is of no benefit in the current era in which we live. I totally disagree with the statement above that learning about the past has no value because the achievements made by humankind are only possible because people always learnt from their past.

The main reason for this is that human evolution is possible only because people accumulate experience and knowledge based on the historical events of their ancestors. This helps people make better decisions by reflecting on historical outcomes involving similar decisions and situations. For example, building are constructed in places that are free from floods and other natural disasters. People improve their life by learning from their mistakes and trying to avoid them next time. For instance, we are now experiencing a relatively peaceful world owing to people learning from the past that wars are just too costly and devastating.

Another prominent aspect is that the future discoveries are always based on past knowledge. Take for example the Internet. This innovation is really based upon telephony. In the past, we learned how to carry voices over telephones and then later on someone thought of the idea of carrying data over telephones. Therefore, the Internet would not exist if it were not for the invention of the telephone.

To summarise, I hold the view that learning from the past is of paramount importance to our lives since we can prevent remaking past mistakes and we can make technological advancements based on past inventions. Therefore, i believe that history lessons should be a critical part of our education.