Ielts writing task 2- pls check my gammar and vocabulary

Topic: In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish, causing pollution on land and water, so people think they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the plastic bags used in supermarkets and shopping malls should be totally prohibited because they are one of the major pollutants which contaminate soil and water around the world. Personally, I completely agree with this statement.

Firstly, It is undeniable that plastic shopping bags represent a large part of plastic pollution on land. Single-use bags can be easily blown by the wind before going into storm drains or being on the street due to the ignorance of people. Obviously, if those plastic bags end up in storm drains, they can contribute to clogging them. As a result, it may lead to flooding during large rains and create big areas of standing water, which are breeding grounds for many disease-carrying insects, like mosquitoes. Furthermore, even when plastic bags are properly disposed of, they end up in landfills. They occupy a lot of space there and can take 400 years to degrade. This huge biodegradation time leads to the buildup of more and more plastic bags in landfills.

Another drawback of using plastic shopping bags is that they do harm to the ocean, especially the marine life in the ocean. There are so many situations that sea animals eat food wrappers, waste, and plastic bags while their bodies can not digest or they can get trapped in plastic bags causing them to suffocate. Consequently, they may die because plastic bags are not disposed of correctly. In addition, when people eat fish, we can even eat the plastics they consumed. This is a serious issue since the chemicals in plastic may lead to cancer and other health problems, which affect significantly the quality of people's life.

In conclusion, I believe that we should completely ban plastic shopping bags. Only by prohibiting the use of plastic bags, can we protect the environment as well as our health.

I will take the IELTS exam in the next two months for the first time. Therefore I really appreciate it if anyone can tell me the score for my essay and give me some advice to improve. Thank you so much!