Ielts writing task 2 please review my essay

Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that compared to watching television or playing video games, reading stories in books is more beneficial for children. From my perspective, I completely agree with this notion.

First of all, reading stories in books helps children to improve their mental health. Seemingly, while reading, children have to remember and imagine an assortment of characters including their backgrounds, nuances, and events that weave through the whole story. And this acts as an exercise for children’s brains. Indeed. The more exercises the brains have, the stronger they are. By contrast, TV and video games provide children with visual images, which children find is easier to remember and thus their brains do not have to work hard. As a result, children’s brains become lazier and weaker.

Besides this, reading also helps children to improve their writing skills. When reading, children may confront a wide range of vocabulary and different styles of writing, which help them to build their lexical resources and learn a variety of writing structures and grammar. And this probably is beneficial for children’s writing skills. On the contrary, watching TV or playing computer games seems to have little contribution to children’s general conception of how to write effectively. This is because the range of vocabulary and grammar that can be found on children’s TV shows or video games is extremely limited.

Furthermore, watching TV and playing computer games are highly addictive. In fact, it is quite common to see children who addict to those activities spend the majority of their time locking themselves in a claustrophobic room and never socialize with other people. In reality, it is scientifically proven that spending an excessive amount of time on these activities leads children to a sedentary lifestyle and makes them social backward.

In conclusion, I totally agree with the notion that children can gain more benefits from reading books rather than watching TV or playing computer games. This is because I think that reading books improves children’s mental strength and writing skills, whereas watching TV or playing video games can undermine children’s health and social skills.

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