Ielts writing task 2 please review my essay

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, urban dwellers in many countries opt for living separately or in the nuclear family rather than in the extended family. From my perspective, this is a positive development.

First of all, generation gaps might be one of the most unfavourable characteristics that discourage many people from living with joint family. Seemingly, cities are the place that is continuously developing, which might changes the young’s lifestyle concomitantly. For example, in the past, children are not allowed to go out until midnight. However, this has become acceptable in many countries specifically in urban areas. Apparently, in many cases, old people would oppose this modern lifestyle, resulting in arguments and quarrels when family gatherings. Therefore, it seems that living in the extended family is uncomfortable and maybe stressful. In contrast, living alone or the nuclear family allows people to have more freedom.

Furthermore, the cost of living in many cities has become intolerably expensive. Thus, a large family group would place financial strains on the breadwinner of the family. To be more precise, since the housing cost in cities has become increasingly expensive, people with moderate salaries would be unable to afford a large space for different generations to live in, otherwise, they have to spend a tremendous amount of money on housing. Likewise, the cost of food supplies and entertainment would be other hassles. In contrast, living alone or in the nuclear family allows people to manage their money more effectively. By this I mean, with a small number of people, each family member can reap more benefits. For instance, children might have a better education and more nutritious diets.

In conclusion, I think this is certainly a positive development because it helps people to avoid the problem of generation gap and therefore allow them to enjoy more freedom. As well as this, financial pressures would be alleviated when people live in small family groups.