IELTS Writing Task 2- Please review my essay

First of all, thank you a lot for helping me to correct and improve my writing skill and vocabulary.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Early education has always been a notable issue in modern society. While some people believe that parenting is the major factor which turns children into brilliant citizens, some others argue that educating children is the responsibility of school. Although I accept that schools comprise an important role in teaching children, I would support the idea that their parents chiefly educate them to become good persons.

On the one hand, the statement that school is the most essential environment for children to develop is reasonable to some extents. Firstly, school provides children an open environment where they can form friendship and contact with various kinds of personality. Therefore, they are able to experience practical life and, gradually, know how to behave appropriately and respectably. Secondly, at school, children are taught by teachers who are specifically trained to be able to work effectively in the field of education. As a result, studying with teachers seems to be highly appreciated in orienting these amateurs.

On the other hand, it seems to me that parents take the most crucial part of educating children. It is obvious that since the earliest days, parents have been the closest to their children. Therefore, if adults do anything or react to something, children can spontaneously imitate them. Parents' activities are the daily examples for children to learn, then parenting is very important and should be noticed. In addition, several people usually claim that family is a smaller version of society. Teaching children appropriate behaviors among members of the family could be small but mighty lessons for them to be well-prepared before walking out to public community.

In conclusion, in spite of several undeniable benefits of schooling to children, I believe that it is better to educate children to become good citizens by smart parenting methods.