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Emily Deyes Posted 8 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

[IELTS Writing Task 2] Please review and grade. Thanks

Topic: Some people think the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society; others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


People have different views on what education is solely for; whether it is for producing contributing members of the society or helping students to achieve their goals and dreams. In my opinion, both objectives are equally important as I believe that ambitious and successful individuals are naturally helpful in any societies.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that schools provide students with a wide range of skills which are instrumental in the real world. Even from primary school, they are taught academic skills in subjects such as mathematics, literature and science, social skills through daily interactions with teachers and peers, soft skills through team-building activities. People who graduate with flying colours possess an abundant skillset, which means that they are well-prepared and are able to adapt quickly to harsh circumstances. Furthermore, it is impossible for individuals to engage in any profession without at least the basic knowledge that is taught in educational environments. With an adequate education comes well-equipped individuals who are willing to contribute to create a better society.

On the other hand, although people have different ambitions in life, the education system can undoubtedly bring them closer to achieving those goals. For instance, thanks to the assistance of counsellors and their peers, a lot of students discover their passion whilst attending schools and they are able to enroll in courses to pursue it. Additionally, those who aspire to become a doctor, a policeman, a scientist cannot fulfill their ambition without proper education. It is fair to say that successful and educated people play an important role in the maintenance of a developing society.

To sum up, in my view, the main purpose of education is to assist individuals in completing their personal ambitions so that they can be useful to the society in which they live.

  

Top answer

People have different views on what education is solely for; whether it is for producing contributing members of the society or helping students to achieve their goals and dreams. In my opinion, both objectives are equally important as I believe that ambitious and successful individuals are naturally helpful in any societies . (wrong form) On the one hand, it is undeniable that schools provide students with a wide range of skills which are instrumental in the real world.

  • People have different views on what education is solely for; whether it is for producing contributing members of the society or helping students to achieve their goals and dreams.
  • In my opinion, both objectives are equally important as I believe that ambitious and successful individuals are naturally helpful in any societies .
  • (wrong form) On the one hand, it is undeniable that schools provide students with a wide range of skills which are instrumental in the real world.
  • Even from primary school, they are taught academic skills in subjects such as mathematics, literature and science, social skills through daily interactions with teachers and peers, (missing word) soft skills through team-building activities.
  • People who graduate with flying colours possess an abundant skillset , (an abundance of skills; an impressive set of skills) which means that they are well - prepared and are able to adapt quickly to harsh a wide range of circumstances.
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1 Answers
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People have different views on what education is solely for; whether it is for producing contributing members of the society or helping students to achieve their goals and dreams. In my opinion, both objectives are equally important as I believe that ambitious and successful individuals are naturally helpful in any societies. (wrong form)

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