Ielts writing task 2. Please help me correct my essay. Thank you so much.

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer

Some people argue that we are unable to help all needy people in this whole planet, which is why government should be concerned about their own country's inhabitants. For me, I completely disagree with this idea.

The first reason is because we now can provide international aid quickly and effectively. Modern transportation makes it possible for government agencies to give out aid within hoursto even the most remote corner of the world. There have been numerous evidences of how such government could help alleviate pains and save millions of life. For example the recent outbreak of Corona virus left thousands of death and millions of people unemployed. But government around the world was immediate. They provide financial support to poor or developing countries to show the strong bond among countries in this hard time of humanity.

Another reason is that I believe we all have a moral responsibilities in ourselves no matter what our nationalities are. We are all willing to have those lack of basic necesities of life. That is the reason why international organizations such as UNICEF or Red Cross were founded. The goal is to help people all around the world and show that no human in this planet should be ignored. In the end, without them, there would be more and more suffering individuals trying to survive on their own. But we should not place responsibility fully on these organizations alone, governments should also provide money for international aid bodies.

In conclusion, even though governments have to tackle urgent problems in their own countries, they still have an obligation to fufill and that is to help everyone in need all around the world