IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Please help me check this essay

Some people think that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others argue that people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computer games are becoming more and more popular among the young, especially boys. But attitudes of people towards that kind of entertainment tend to vary significantly.
Some would argue that the yourh can learn many things from those games. First, it is evident that most of the modern electronic games are very complicated and intricate. They require players to be clever enough as well as have some certain skills. Therefore, people can have a chance to make brains work harder and improve their intelligence or agility by playing video games. Moreover, teenagers also need to completely focus attention on the screen when playing those. As a result, they may have their patience together with concentration boosted greatly. Another benefit which computer games have is that they encourage team spirit because a player often has to cooperate with others to organize a match and gain victory. Because of this, they can learn how to get on well with other people or reach a compromise.
In contrast, others assume that video games are time-consuming. In fact, despite being quite useful, this kind of games is highly additive, which makes players spend too much time on it and even lose all track of time. Consequently, games can be a drain on the young's energy, which probably results in some serious effects. For example, if a student is addicted to playing computer games. he spends most of the time sitting in front of the phone or laptop instead of doing homework assignments. Therefore, his study results may become worse. Additionally, teenagers may also miss the chance to enjoy the time of themselves through leisure activities such as extracurricular ones or sports.

However, in my perspective, electronic games are rather useful and people can learn a lot of things from them. But if we do not use them the right way, we will make video games a complete waste of time.
In conclusion, the youth should only spend a moderate amount of time playing games. More importantly, they ought to concentrate on their studies and extracurricular activities as well.