IELTS writing task 2 - Please help me check my new essay

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
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In the twenty-first century, humans have researched and developed successfully many technologies to enhance living conditions and some of them are considered as great evolutions such as 5G, Internet, smartphones, robots, and temperature and moisture sensors. Thanks to those new technologies, billion tons of agricultural foods are produced each year and people provide those products to every country. However, famine still happens in some places, which is an extremely serious circumstance that needs to be solved as soon as possible.

On the one hand, foods are one of the most crucial factors to keep people alive and the lack of foods may cause dangerous and serious consequences. Obviously, people who live in famished areas may tend to earn foods instinctively even those behaviors may be rude and injurious. On the other hand, famine may happen in a few countries which have political crises and people who live in those countries cannot remain cultivation or any food supply chains. In addition to that, health care needs to be considered especially caring for children. Unlike adults, children need enough nutrients for mental and physical growth. The shortage of food is the primary reason for malnutrition in children which leads to abnormal development of children’s body and brain. Furthermore, children who are in low living conditions usually get a poor quality education because they must struggle against starvation early. Therefore, unwell-educated children cannot change their life when they become adults even many opportunities arise. For example, in Vietnam, the minority of children who live in the West-North region in Northern have propensity to drop middle school because their parents are not able to afford the educational fee, besides, those parents usually move to large cities for earning money and they have their sons and daughters cultivate at fields, but the quality of the harvest is low because of intensive climate. Consequently, the region where those children locate cannot catch up on the development of the rest of the country and the lives of people there may not be changed in the near future.

I think the most obvious solution is to appeal to international help especially humanitarian organizations such as The United Nations Children's Fund and Food and Agriculture Organization. Specifically, developing countries where famine still happens may associate with the Food and Agriculture Organization in order to call for food aid from the international community. Besides, the government of those countries should establish a fund to support poor children and encourage them to go to school by sponsoring the entire educational fee. On the other hand, the developed world may become the supporters that may deliver a part of agricultural products to other countries which are in influences of disasters or intensive climate. Moreover, the further measure is to transform the agricultural technologies to enhance the quality of cultivation as well as preventing famished spread.

In conclusion, although a multitude of technologies made for improving agriculture, many people still are hungry because of unexpected reasons such as disables, diseases, or intensive weather, but it is preventable. To solve this case, every country should co-operate in solidarity to change the basic living conditions of poverty over the world.