Ielts writing task 2. Please help me check my essay. Thank you so much.

Task 2: Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

Essay:

Undeniably, the popularity in pursuing tertiary education becomes much higher. Based on the real actual situation, a number of students decide to migrate to other cities so as to study whereas others are able to live in their family in their hometown during the studying process. In my opinion, I will examine the benefits and as well as the diavowals of these both purposes and explain why I feel they are reasonable.

On the one hand, it could be argued, several valid positives of being homed with families and learned in local universities. Firstly, one major advantage is that students can receive parents’ supports raging from tuition fees, material costs and pocket money. Secondly, they may never have a sense of home-sickness when deseparating of home and beloved ones. In spite of these upper advatages, it could create a heavy independence for university-individuals when living with their parents’ money which lead to the devaluable earnings of them. As a result, they don’t want to go part-time jobs or something else and continue to be financial burden on their families.

On the other hand, it is believed that studying away from home of young adults can bring some merits. One of these is that this can make them more independent as they have to find their own accommodation. Moreover, they may fall into being broke as they can’t be received any subsidiary from home so they have to make a fortune. By doing this, students have opportunities to travel and enlarge their horizons, leading to improve not only their confidence but also enhance the chance to relentless success. Nonetheless, there are few enforced drawbacks such as being lack of family support in terms of both financial and emotions and even more they don’t have a guidelead during their school years. For instance, these students can stick to bad behaviors like using drugs, crimes and prostituation, thereby theirs study will be strictly influenced.

In conclusion, although I can clearly see both advantages and disadvantages of staying with families or living away home, I truly believe the latter delivers more benefits and less detriments to students.