IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Please help me

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Technology has brought about many changes in the world including our ways of establishing different relationships. In my perspective, this is a negative advance.
Today social media have become an indispensable part of people's life with various kinds of social networking sites such as Facebook, Instagram, etc. Because of them, we can easily keep in contact with each other without having to arrange face-to-face meetings. Those websites help us to make video calls, take video lessons, or chat with each other. Therefore, we still can become acquaintances regardless of the distance. Moreover, just by sending or accepting friend requests, users will have many friends on the friend list. Back in the days preceding the Internet age, people could only interact through the telephone or seeing face-to-face, so they just had real-life personal and professional relationships. Compared to these days, individuals are having more virtual ones. Those so-called friends are not real. Many internet users feel proud of the huge number of friends that they have on Facebook or other sites, which I find tremendously absurd and preposterous because they become friends when they do not even know each other's real names. For example, dating online websites are common now, people can easily find lovers through those sites. It's not easy to believe that they prefer an online girlfriend or boyfriend to a real one.
Therefore, I suppose this development is a negative one. First, it's because we may think that we have many friends, we talk with them every day and share various things but they can not be with us during our difficult times. They can never be our true friends who always stay close to us. Additionally, if we immerse ourselves in such useless relationships, we will miss the chance to enjoy our real lives and have proper partners. Gradually, our life would be artificial and superficial and we may even become a part of the virtual world. As a result, despite the immensely long friend lists, we would still feel lonely and isolated. Furthermore, cybercriminals usually use social networking sites as a way of committing fraud or hacking. If users do not stay alert, our confidential information may be leaked easily.
In conclusion, technology has significantly improved the quality of our life. However, we should never get immersed in that virtual world. Instead, we ought to spend more time with our family, friends who are most important to a person.