IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Please help me

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history.
To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Today studying history is for sure an indispensable part of school's curriculum. Some students suppose that learning about the history of their hometown is more necessary than learning about the world. However, in my opinion, world history shares equal importance as local history.
First of all, studying world history helps students expand their horizons. They can have deeper insight into other countries' cultures and traditions. There are more than 200 nations in the world with diverse customs and a lot of cultural identity. So if schoolchildren only learn hometown's history, they do not have the chance to broaden their mind or widen their knowledge. Moreover, when they travel to a foreign country, they definitely need to have some fundamental knowledge about the history of that country.
Second, acquiring knowledge about the world's past events equips students with a more well-rounded perspective of life. It's because world history, like local one, also depicts mistakes made in the past, hence helping people avoid similar ones in the future. For example, when students read about the Great Depression between 1929 and 1933, which resulted from the fact that capitalist countries strove to make profits by manufacturing huge amounts of goods, they can learn many lessons about business from that.
Additionally, history of foreign countries is usually connected with local history. Therefore, students can have a more thorough understanding of their hometown's history by studying past events of other countries. Furthermore, this type of history can also help develop their patriotism and national pride.

In conclusion, students should learn about both local history and world history in order to have a deep understanding of the whole world's past.