IELTS Writing task 2 : Please grade this essay, thank you so much buddies

EX 1: More and more people work from home and study from home with the development of technology. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Essay

Nowadays, both Internet and computer play an important role in modern life. It is the fact that the number of people working and studying at home with technical assistance is unceasingly increasing. I firmly believe in the truth of this assertion but to my way of thinking, it is also a pessimistic advancement and this essay tackles my most important reasons.

An important point to consider is a lack of community and differences in culture. The phrases “remote work,” “distributed teams,” and “digital nomad” which are descriptions of people working on Internet are becoming more and more trendy. Digital nomads work independently with just a computer screen and when they see their teammates in a video call, it is hard to make the camaraderie unfolded. A cohesive team is considered more difficult and people could not make a truly great team. Besides, when people hire remote workers who come from other countries, there may be have cultural barriers.

We also could not deny the fact that when people study or work at home almost their time, there is no chance for digital nomad to make friends with other students, colleagues and have outdoor activities such as playing soccer or going picnic together. This reality would confront people to make a conversation with others.

Granted, it is true that the most essential benefit of working and studying at home is productivity. It helps employees and students save money and time so that they don’t need to waste time commuting from work or university. Besides, the less people go out , the less petrol and diesel is consumed and less pollution is caused.

Considering all arguments forward, I have finally arrived at the conclusion that working and studying at home is a negative development if people spend their whole time on indoor activities and facing to the computer screen. On top of that, they should find more time for their hobbies, friends and family to make their life colorful.