IELTS writing task 2 - Please give review on my essay

For a long time, art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology, and business more important than arts.

What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

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In this century, the changes that science, technology, or business are getting more attention to people than the values of arts. The reason for this might be technology and science are the two primary factors to remain and develop modern life. However, art does not totally lose its role so it is possible to draw people’s attention to art.

Nowadays, people need a higher quality of living conditions than theirs in the past and technological inventions serve those demanding so well. Obviously, video games are created for solving the relaxation needs of humans or the development of business bring to people more and more options goods. Above all, the evolutions in health care help humans heal themselves from dangerous diseases that people used to give up on them. Those needs of humans can be completed by art and this might be the reason why people pay more attention to science or technology than art.

Nevertheless, art plays an important role in specializing in the culture of every country in the world. Because of this people can draw the attention of others to art if they do it the right way. On one hand, artists might apply technology to selling or streaming their exhibitions to advertise their products. For instance, social networks like Facebook and Instagram are so popular in the world so many artists using the advertising service of those platforms to bring their products closer to other people. Besides, the government might celebrate cultural festivals among countries to not only exchange cultures but preserve them.

To conclude, the attention of humans to art is reduced a lot than itself many years ago because of the benefits of science, technology, and business in modern life. If people do more artistic activities such as celebrate cultural festivals or using services of social networks to advertise art to everyone.