Ielts Writing Task 2- Please give me some feedback on my writing
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some nations, youngsters are often given message that if they are hard-working enough, they can achieve whatever they want. This message gives some benefits to the children but at the same time, causing some disadvantages.
The first benefit of telling children it is possible to achieve everything if they try hard enough is that children will get use to putting all effort into what they do which helps them easier to reach their targets in the future. This is due to the fact that youngsters usually look up to and listen to adults, especially their parents and relatives so they will do what they are told. After a period of time, they will familiar with hard-working and that habit will help them on their future path. In addition, this message also brings hopes to the ones who have bad backgrounds or disabilities. They can set successful people coming up from nothing as examples, feeling the inspirations and overcoming all the barriers.
On the other hand, there are disadvantages to the children in this action which are too focus on things that are not deserved and being stressful if they can’t reach the? targets. With this message, youngsters will think they can achieve anything, even which are truly beyond their abilities. As a result, they keep wasting time concentrating in one thing that they may never achieve rather than spend time on more deserved things. In the situation where they can’t achieve goals, they will blame themselves and doubt their abilities.
In conclusion, telling the children that nothing they can’t achieve if they try hard enough gives hopes and help them create good habits, however, it also has bad effects on the children.
Top answer
You need to study pronouns. Most of the time, you do not use them effectively. ) are often given the message that if they work hard are hard-working enough, they can achieve whatever they want.
- You need to study pronouns.
- Most of the time, you do not use them effectively.
- ) are often given the message that if they work hard are hard-working enough, they can achieve whatever they want.
- This message gives some benefits to them the children but at the same time, causing some problems.
- disadvantages .
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You need to study pronouns. Most of the time, you do not use them effectively.
In some nations, impressionable young people youngsters (Not a good word choice.) are often given the message that if they work hard are hard-working
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