IELTS WRITING TASK 2. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK

Question: Crime rate in most countries is higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

My answer:

In many parts of the world, urban areas have experienced higher level of criminality than rural counterparts. This is attributable to a number of reasons, and some practical measures could be taken to deter the commitment of crimes.

There are several plausible reasons for the higher crime rate in urban regions than in the countryside. One of the principal reasons is the parental neglect. With hectic city life, parents tend to prioritize their work over their children and spend less time educating their children accordingly. As a result, children with less supervision from such families may associate with gangs or be easily roped in illegal use of alcohol or drug. By contrast, children from the countryside would receive more care and supervision and therefore stand a lower chance of involving in crimes. Another reason would be the higher unemployment rate in major cities. As the labour market in urban areas is highly competitive, more city dwellers are unemployed. They have been struggling to make ends meet and may resort to commit offences, such as grab-and-run thefts, one of common types of crime in big cities.

However, citizens and governments could take viable steps to reduce the crime rate. For parents, it is vitally important to know and supervise their children. For example, children should be restricted to get a regular exposure to violent materials on the television or on the Internet. This would reduce the likelihood of children mimicing violent actions they saw and sequentially bullying their friends. Regarding government policy, more police should be positioned in the streets, particularly in crowded areas, to ensure that pedestrians and transportation are in order. This would discourage potential offenders, thereby enhancing the sense of security among both the locals and tourists.

In conclusion, there are several factors that explain why urban areas are more likely to have higher crime rates than rural ones and some effective solutions could be adopted simulteneously by both governments and residents to tackle criminal activities.