IELTS Writing task 2. Please give me a feedback and advice. Thank you very much.

Some say that sports play an important role in the development of society. Others think it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It can be argued that sports are of paramount importance to the society's development. Nonetheless, people think that they are just considered as mere leisure activities. Although both views are reasonable, I endorse that sports have benefits to develop society.

On the one hand, it might be thought that people only recognise sports as leisure pursuits because of two reasons. Firstly, because some individuals have never engaged any sports before, they have no interest in them. Secondly, if people take up a sport, they will allocate time and put effort into it, thus sports are not suitable for those are always busy. Consequently, these evidences support the claim that sports are not necessary to the development of society, and they are just only leisure activities.

On the other hand, most people believe that sports is important to social development since they could tighten relationship between regions and between individuals. To be specific, sports have no boundaries between different races to play and require people to focus on one goal. For example, football need players to work as a team and concentrate on scoring goals and win games. As a result, sports not only help solid friendship between people but also contribute to develop society.

To conclude, despite many views on determining the role of sports, I still endorse that sports would be a necessity of the development of society. While some claim that sports are not more than leisure recreation, they could build the collaboration to many individuals and help society to grow.