IELTS writing task 2 - Please correct my new essays

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Nowadays, the phrase “start-up” is more common and it becomes a trend in the world. Many young people quit their jobs in big companies and establish new brands on their own. Some of them may become successful entrepreneurs but some people do not. In my perspective, I appreciate the effort of the young people who start up their companies but they may confront disadvantages because of the shortage of experiences about business and human resources management.

Many choose to be self-employed because they want to work with no string attached. The first reason, that is, people who work in big companies usually sign contracts with amount of complex terms and rules which sometimes impede the carrier of young people. Besides, they may be adaptable to complete all tasks under high pressure. Also, they may face a multitude of complicated matters such as troubles with colleagues, dissatisfaction with salary, and dissent with boss. Another reason, young people are inspired by young businessmen especially when these people appear on TV shows and talk about establishing a separate brand. For example, the Shark Tank show, a popular show that brings inspiration to the young who desire to be young entrepreneurs. On this show, all characters present about their projects and deal with investors to receive a deposit from them. The success and failure of all the characters and the evaluations from the investors are valuable for young people who choose to be self-employed.

On the other hand, being owners at early ages make people confront of serious problems that relate to business administration and human resources. The first risk, the lack of funds, is the most serious factor which makes the failure in business. Some young people make effort to deal with investors for a fund and then they must sell their company to the investors they deal with because of the unprofitable and the carelessness during deal the deals. In addition, human resource is another risk because there are not many people apply to a new and small company especially a start-up. For instance, I used to work for a start-up for months and I realized that the company I worked for had plenty of problems such as labor contract and staff management. The turnover could not afford the staff payment worthily and there were two staff who must work as accountants and secretaries without labor contracts. There were many staff quit the job, which made the company work unstably. The main reason for the unstable activity is the shortage of knowledge of administration.

In conclusion, young people choosing to be self-employed always be appreciated. Nevertheless, they need the instructions and experiences so young people should apply for professional companies and work for them at least 3 three years to take enough experiences of administration to avoid all the disadvantages.