IELTS writing task 2, please comment!

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? And what are the effects of this?

In recent years, people have not got as much sleep as they did before. The main reason for this is a considerable amount of work that workers have and inadequate sleep has a disastrous impact on people’s life.

In the face of the economic pressure, people are often snowed under with work, leaving little time for relaxation. Many young people decide to have multiple jobs to increase their incomes, creating more work tasks to complete in addition to their housework, such as childcare or laundry. Being employed in different positions, the reduction of sleep is unavoidable for these employees. Furthermore, the advances in technology enable people to work at the touch of a button. This means that people probably have to perform their jobs even during their bedtime.

Turning to the effects of this unwanted tendency, insufficient sleep can cause myriads issues for people. The first and foremost problem that people face when they do not have enough sleep is health-related issues. It is scientifically proven that sleepless people have a higher blood pressure than their ordinary fellows, as a result, higher chances to experience a heart attack. Secondly, a lack of sleep could detrimentally affect people’s everyday activities. For example, students can easily lose concentration on their lessons or might fall asleep during their classtime, causing them to fall behind with their study and perform poorly at school.

In conclusion, sleep is not respected by people as it did before. Unless there is a reduction in the amount of work people get, health problems will occur frequently and social lives will be negatively affected.