Ielts Writing Task 2 - PLEASE CHECK THE GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY, CORRECT IT AND ALSO GIVE ME AN ESTIMATE OF THE BAND SCORE FOR THIS ESSAY. THANKS A LOT !

Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to regional

areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, there are a number of factories and enterprises have been moved away to a remote area. While there are some disadvantages, I would argue that the benefits prevail against drawbacks.

On the one hand, relocating industries can cause some problems for the economy. Once of the profound shortcomings is that the companies and authorities have to allocate more resources to the industries. If the firms have to locate at the rural areas, there will not much advances in transportation or security. As a result, the governments have to set up these means with a concomitant sustainability for industries. Another drawbacks is that local areas which used to be a peaceful place are now become clangor; moreover, its scenery are adversely impacted. The view, for instance, used to be a sightseeing for tourists; however, it will not attract much tourists’attention anymore because of the noise.

On the other hand, moving these enterprises to the regional area will lead to some advantages. Firstly, this is a tremendous opportunity for poverty-stricken families in the remote area to have a job. Due to their establishment in the new places, they need to have a great deal of workforce. Secondly, the environmental problems can be alleviated significantly. If these companies are being moved out cities, this can cut down on carbon dioxide emission efficiently. As a result, the authorities are able to have a high probability in fighting against global warming and the greenhouse effect. Finally, the amount of open space for residents will increase remarkably. Therefore, people’s living condition will not be a notable issue anymore.

In conclusion, although there are some drawbacks of placing the industries to local area, I would believe that the benefits are outweigh the shortcomings.

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