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Dongg Thieu Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Ielts Writing Task 2 - Please Check and Correct The Grammars, Vocabularies For Me And Also Give An Estimate Band Score For This Essay. Many Thanks !!

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?


In recent years, large amounts of advertising from different enterprises are increasing significantly having a great effect on the society. From my perspective, these companies have a considerable impact on the consumers and the governments should involve in the protection campaigns for the buyers.

To begin with, influenced by advertisements can force the consumers buy goods impulsively. Buyers are not aware of what they have just bought because there are an abundant of catchy stuffs on the internet which can initially attract the purchasers. For instance, in a football match, the viewer see a wide range of sponsorship advertising about the players and the teams. As a result, the ones watching the matches in the stadium may purchase all the sports merchandising after the match. On top of that, the people who pay many unnecessary items can have extremely bad habits. They become a target audience for the advertising firms, thus, they are swayed by the advertisements and just keep paying bills for goods which can be harmful. The ones, for example, buy the capsules which were advertised that it can boost the height immediately. However, it is actually detriment and may give harmful hormones to their body which can curb their life expectancy severely.


In addition, the authorities should play an pivotal role in protecting the buyers from being swayed by a number of advertising. Firstly, a new law should institute socially in order to keep the people be safe from the media. They can impose the regulations on the advertising companies so that the selling items will be authentically clarified and the ones buying those stuffs can be shielded. Also, the governments can raise the purchasers awareness of buying goods which can affects their health severely. They can open some protection campaigns that prevent the residents from purchasing replica or low quality products which can physically harms the users. Therefore, the buyers will be wary of an eclectic mix of things that can risk them by following government’s methods.


In conclusion, advertising industry has a great deal of effect on the people who buy the items that be advertised socially. Moreover, the supreme court or authorities should participate in the protection plans for the citizens and enact more efficient laws to the locals in order to prevent them from buying such harmful goods.


385 words

  

Top answer

In recent years, large amounts of advertising from different enterprises are increasing significantly , (comma) having a great effect on the society. From my perspective, these companies have a considerable impact on the consumers and the governments should involve (wrong form. "should be involved in" / "should involve themselves in" / "should promote" / "should pay for" ) in the protection campaigns for the buyers.

  • In recent years, large amounts of advertising from different enterprises are increasing significantly , (comma) having a great effect on the society.
  • From my perspective, these companies have a considerable impact on the consumers and the governments should involve (wrong form.
  • "should be involved in" / "should involve themselves in" / "should promote" / "should pay for" ) in the protection campaigns for the buyers.
  • To begin with, influenced (wrong form.
  • ") by advertisements can force the consumers (missing word) buy goods impulsively.
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In recent years, large amounts of advertising from different enterprises are increasing significantly, (comma) having a great effect on the society. From my perspective, these companies have a considerable impact on the consumers and the governments should involve (wrong form. "should

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