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Dongg Thieu Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Ielts Writing Task 2 - Please Check And Correct The Grammars, Vocabularies and Correct it For Me And Also Give An Estimate Band Score For This Essay. Many Thanks !!

Developments of technology are causing environmental problems. Some people think the

solution is that everyone should accept a simpler life, while others believe that technology can

solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.


In recent years, the environment is severely damaged by technological innovation. While some people believe that involving a simpler life is the only remedy to cure these problems, I would argue that advances in technology is the best way to alleviate environmental problems.


On the one hand, it is believed that keeping a life without technology is a vital solution. Firstly, walking or cycling which are environmentally friendly activities can help to cut down on emission effectively. Instead of using private cars or motorcycles which are the reasons causing exhaust fumes, the citizens are able to curb their carbon footprint in order to fight again climate change or global warming. Secondly, on their daily basis, it is suggested that residents should use less electricity in order to save the environment. There is an annual event, for instance, called Earth Hour recommend people turn off all electric appliances so that the dependence on fossil fuels will be declined in a long run.


On the other hand, introducing technology to our life can help to ease environmental problems efficiently. Owing to improvements in technology, we can have an eclectic mix of alternative energy sources such as hydraulic power or wind farms. Many developed countries, for example, use plants that utilize solar energy to generate power for the purpose of alter the fossil fuels. As a result, the air pollution and water contamination are both minimized significantly. On top of that, the development of technology can come up with ways to recycle a great deal of materials namely glass, paper cups. As a result, the problem of waste disposal can be reduced productively.


In conclusion, although living in a simple life without influenced of any technological items can solve a number of environmental issues, I would believed that technological improvements are definitely of paramount importance in alleviating environmental problems.


306 words

  

Top answer

In recent years, the environment is [Use present perfect for an unfinished period of time: here it is several years up to the present day ] severely damaged by technological innovation [ Perhaps 'innovations' or 'developments' ]. While some people believe that involving [ leading] a simpler life is the only remedy to cure these problems, I would argue that advances in technology is [ the subject, 'advances', is plural ] the best way to alleviate environmental problems. 7UHMWkJvrUg On the one hand, it is believed that [ One (possible) approach is to follow a life without technology.

  • In recent years, the environment is [Use present perfect for an unfinished period of time: here it is several years up to the present day ] severely damaged by technological innovation [ Perhaps 'innovations' or 'developments' ].
  • While some people believe that involving [ leading] a simpler life is the only remedy to cure these problems, I would argue that advances in technology is [ the subject, 'advances', is plural ] the best way to alleviate environmental problems.
  • 7UHMWkJvrUg On the one hand, it is believed that [ One (possible) approach is to follow a life without technology.
  • ] keeping [ following ] a life without technology is a vital solution.
  • Firstly, walking or cycling which are environmentally friendly activities can help to cut down on emission effectively.
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In recent years, the environment is [Use present perfect for an unfinished period of time: here it is several years up to the present day] severely damaged by technological innovation [Perhaps 'innovations' or 'developments']. While some people believe that involving [leading] a simpler

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