Ielts writing task 2-Languages

Please help me review my essay.

THE TOPIC:

A few languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or a negative development?

THE ESSAY:

In recent years, the ever-developing globalization has caused some languages to be used widely all over the world while others have been in the edge of disappearance. Although this development can be beneficial to societies, I argue that its drawbacks surpass the merits.

On the one hand, talking some specific languages can bring many benefits for international trading and the global economy. Firstly, the popularity of few languages could help commercial exchange easier. The main reason for this is that the decrease in lingo barriers would allow traders to communicate better with their partners. Secondly, if many nations used a certain languages like English, it could make a significant contribution to the prospect of international economy. In fact, when a language is used popularly in the world, business owners can establish their companies in other countries, hence not only bring more profits for entrepreneurs but also local residents in the host country. As a result, the general economy of all nations would develop gradually.

On the other hand, I personally believe that other languages should be still gained attention. The most important reason behind is the deterioration of traditions. It is obvious that all nations’ cultures are illustrated through their own tongues. Therefore, it is difficult to discover as well as get deep-insight knowledge of their customs and cultural values without using their native languages. In addition, the domination of few dialects can reduce the rating success of students talking in other ones. The main reason is that schoolchildren would be not able to reach their highest potential learning performance when they have to learn in other languages, instead of their mother’s ones. It is likely that these students would achieve lower academic results than their counterparts.

In conclusion, although the domination of some languages can bring many advantages, the importance of others should be not neglected. In my opinion, the protection of native dialects should be encouraged.