[IELTS Writing Task 2] Household Goods

Question

Hi everybody! I'm an IELTS self-learner, and it's only about 2 months left for me before I take an IELTS test. Please help me to evaluate my essay, including grammatical, vocabulary errors as well as other criteria that are valuable to get a high IELTS band. And if you could, please provide a proximate IELTS Writing band for my essay.

I strongly appreciate your support. Please help me. Thank you!

The question is: More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

And below is my essay:

Over the past decades, technology development has never failed to draw public attention and provoke debates. Although an overwhelming majority of families have more than one electrical device thanks to the proliferation of high-tech products in every walk of life, the issue as to whether we should rely on them or not remains controversial. In my opinion, if being used properly, its advantages will eclipse its disadvantages.

On the one hand, household appliances have brought more convenience to our life. In fact, nowadays more and more sophisticated devices are being created, for the purpose of accomplishing various types of tasks, making household chores cease to be bothersome works. For example, a microwave oven can help preparing food become more manageable and enjoyable, while a vacuum cleaner will make even the dirtiest carpet dustless. Same advantages can be seen in other appliances. Thus, saved time and energy can be utilized for other tasks.

On the other hand, the opponents may argue that these appliances may have detrimental effects not only to family members but also to the environment as well. Firstly, overusing household devices tends to encourage owners to adopt sedentary lifestyle and inactivity. Secondly, household goods, primarily electrical devices usually get updated due to the ever-advancing technology, thus leading to rocketing demands for natural resources.

In conclusion, using household goods brings both boons and banes. With a proper use, they can bring you more benefits than drawbacks.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

This essay is not an advantages / disadvantages essay.

It asks you to answer the question: Is this a positive or negative development?

You can answer that it is a positive development, and give your reasons. Or you can say it is a negative development, and tell the reader why it is bad. You are not asked to write about advantages/ disadvantages. You are not asked to write a

You must pay attention to the topic question very carefully. Otherwise, your essay will not get a good score on "Task Completion."

Over the past decades, technology development has never failed to draw public attention and provoke debates. (Off-topic. The essay question did not ask you to write about technological devices. Also, do you know people who debate about buying TVs or rice cookers?) Although an overwhelming majority of families have more than one electrical ~~device~~ appliance thanks to the proliferation of high-tech products (Off topic) in every walk of life, the issue as to whether we should rely on them or not remains controversial. In my opinion, if being used properly, its advantages will eclipse its disadvantages. (Your first paragraph does not address the topic of people buying more time-saving appliances and TV sets. These are not "high-tech" and I don't think they are controversial or the cause of debates.)

On the one hand, household appliances have brought more convenience to our life. In fact, nowadays more and more sophisticated devices are being created, for the purpose of accomplishing various types of tasks, making household chores cease to be bothersome ~~works~~. For example, a microwave oven can help preparing food become (ungrammatical ... a microwave oven can help reduce the time it takes to prepare food) more manageable and enjoyable, while a vacuum cleaner will make even the dirtiest carpet dustless. The same advantages can be seen in other appliances. Thus, saved time and energy can be utilized for other tasks.

On the other hand, ~~the opponents~~ others may argue that these appliances may have detrimental effects not only to family members but also to the environment as well. ~~Firstly~~, First, overusing household devices tends to encourage owners to adopt a sedentary lifestyle ~~and inactivity~~. ~~Secondly~~, Second, household goods, primarily electrical devices usually get updated due to the ever-advancing technology, thus leading to rocketing demands for natural resources.

In conclusion, using household appliances ~~goods~~ has ~~brings~~ both pros and cons. ~~boons and banes~~. With a proper use, they can bring you more benefits than drawbacks.

[IELTS Writing Task 2] Household Goods

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