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Giang Nguyễn Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

[IELTS Writing Task 2] Help me correct this essay please!

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?


It is not inappropriate to say that everyone study, play and develop themselves for a day when they get a suitable job. The more essential job becomes, the more concerns job satisfaction gets. In my opinion, factors contributed to it and how realistic its expectations from every employee should be considered.

There are two main factors affecting job satisfaction. First, the salary for a job is very important. It is often the first reason and concern of an employee applying for a position. Both fixed and bonus payment for extra work can boost workers’ interest and efficiency. Secondly, the working environment has a huge impact on job satisfaction. It consists of both the people we work with and the environment condition. For example, having supportive, funny, and intelligent bosses or colleges is undoubtedly comfortable. Moreover, the quality of the infrastructure or the air can also change workers’ attitudes.

Regarding the above factors, job satisfaction cannot be expected by everyone. However, this expectation depends on some factors. First, it is the employees’ own ability to have a well-paid and dream job. In particular, it is their knowledge, experience, life skills and personalities. Obviously, if employees cannot meet the job’s requirements, they are discarded. Furthermore, the chance to get access to smart and suitable employers also play a necessary part. In fact, there is often an employment day for final-year students, but only in some well-known universities. Therefore, employees themselves have to actively improve their quality and spend more time and effort researching employers and job descriptions.

In conclusion, to have a full job satisfaction, employees should consider the salary and working environment carefully. Moreover, they need to enhance themselves to meet their expectation at work.

  

Top answer

n It is not inappropriate to say that everyone study, play and develop themselves for a day when they get a suitable job. That sentence is off-topic. It is not about preparation for a career.

  • n It is not inappropriate to say that everyone study, play and develop themselves for a day when they get a suitable job.
  • That sentence is off-topic.
  • It is not about preparation for a career.
  • Also you have errors in subject/verb agreement.
  • It is not inappropriate to say that everyone study , play and develop themselves for a day when they get a suitable job.
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1 Answers
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Giang Nguy?nIt is not inappropriate to say that everyone study, play and develop themselves for a day when they get a suitable job.

That sentence is off-topic. It is not about preparation for a career. Also you have errors in subject/verb agreement.


It is not inappropriate to say that everyone s

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