IELTS Writing Task 2 Exercise

Could you help me to check my IELTS Writing Task 2 exercise that I was given, please? I am really appreciated for your kind help.

Topic: Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree with this decision?

It is argued that smoking can help people work more effectively and feel relaxed after long working hours. However, I totally agree that it must be prohibited from public places because of the drawbacks affecting our daily life.

In my opinion, governments should pass a law that prevents smoking in public because it brings a lot of harm to everyone, even if they don’t smoke. Firstly, many studies have shown that smoking cigarettes for a long time will increase the risk of sickness. For example, the number of people having problems with the respiratory system, the skin, the eye has been rising year after year, especially lung cancer with more than 30% of cancer patients. Secondly, smoking is one of the reasons that caused accidents. In fact, many people throw away cigarette ash in the streets or anywhere without knowing that these are not only dirty but also dangerous. As a result, workers must spend more time cleaning the roads and sometimes lead to many fires killing and injuring lots of people around the world. Thirdly, people addicted to smoking will spend plenty of money on it. Consequently, it’s extremely hard for them to improve their quality of life or helping countries to develop the economy.

While I support the banning of smoking in public places, I believe that it would be wrong if thinking that smoking can help better work better and reduce stress. First and foremost, success depends on how well people plan and organize their work, how carefully they manage time, not the number of cigarettes. Another important thing is doing exercise is the best way to keep fit and relaxed after hard-working days. In contrast to that, smoking will destroy our health. Finally, smoking is a big waste of time as other meaningful things can be done to the community.

In conclusion, banning smoking in public places is the most effective method to improve people’s health, save time and money.