IELTS Writing Task 2 - Evaluate for Mistake and need a Guidance to improve my grammatical errors

Some people believe that it is the best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give you own opinion.

Employment is the essential part of our life to meet one's financial capabilities. It is often argued by some that the people have had worse condition due to their jobs but it is far better than being unemployed. Meanwhile, other believe that the people have to struggle to improve their employment circumstances, and try to find a better opportunities to earn their desired life style.

On the one hand, the supporters of the idea that the people have to accept the worst condition of their jobs and financial hurdles. As unemployment is increasing rapidly which bringing the poverty to higher level, so people have to compromise on their bad job conditions with low income. Take an Example of Mexico, Where Minister of Labor Department said in an interview that the 17% of population in the country is suffering from financial crisis due to unemployment and low wages from the several companies. Thus, having low income job is far better than unemployed.

While on the other hand, the advocates of the view that the people have to find better opportunities to improve their standard of life as with the satisfied job with good salary, the people can live a healthy and affordable life which makes them happy and also they can tackle any financial uncertainties due to their productive income. For instance, in United States of America, 25% of people struggling for opportunity to get a better job to live a good and healthy life style. Hence, Struggling to get a favorable high salary job can improve one's life style but also it can improve their financial capabilities.

Whereas, I believe that having a bad situation at job is far better than having no job at all but the people have to find a better job opportunities to improve their life style.

To Sum up, from my perspective, employment in unfavorable condition can be acceptable because of unemployment but it is the necessity of one's to live a happy and financially sound life.