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Zoraida Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

IELTS WRITING TASK 2 CULTURE

PLEASE EVALUATE MY WRITING. I WILL BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR HELP.

Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


Opinions are divided on whether homeland is the most important factor that form a particular person’s culture. While I agree that the surrounding environment plays a key role in defining a person’s culture, other aspects are also worth mentioning.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that people are most affected by the culture of their country of origin. This is because parents and schools often instill traditional beliefs and norms in their children through folks when they are still toddlers and via moral lessons when they are old enough to go to schools. These beliefs are likely to follow their childhood and profoundly affect their adult lives.

For instance, women living in Islam countries are taught to cover their heads when they go outside as a demonstration of their purity and innocence. Moreover, other aspects of a culture like music, food or habits are also deeply imposed since the moment of birth.

On the other hand, in a far more globalised world than ever before, it is highly possible that people learn from other cultures and replace some parts of their original cultures. The exposure to the Internet allows people to explore more about the traditions in other parts of the world though a wide range of online platforms. After that, they may be inspired by those traditions and want to adopt some of them. Furthermore, young people nowadays often travel to other countries for purposes of education and work, leading to a great loss of national identity as they have to adapt to new cultures to survive. Therefore, those exotic traditions might outweigh the original ones in some people.

In conclusion, while nationality undoubtedly exerts profound impacts on people’s lifestyles, I believe that it is just a part of their collective culture in this globalised world.

  

Top answer

Opinions are divided on whether one's homeland is the most important factor that form (wrong verb form) a particular person’s culture. While I agree that the surrounding environment plays a key role in defining a person’s cultur al identity , other aspects are also worth mentioning. On the one hand, it is undeniable that people are most affected by the culture of their country of origin.

  • Opinions are divided on whether one's homeland is the most important factor that form (wrong verb form) a particular person’s culture.
  • While I agree that the surrounding environment plays a key role in defining a person’s cultur al identity , other aspects are also worth mentioning.
  • On the one hand, it is undeniable that people are most affected by the culture of their country of origin.
  • This is because parents and schools often instill traditional beliefs and norms in their children through folks when they are still toddlers and via moral lessons when they are old enough to go to schools .
  • (wrong form) These beliefs are likely persist to follow their childhood and profoundly affect their adult lives.
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Opinions are divided on whether one's homeland is the most important factor that form (wrong verb form) a particular person’s culture. While I agree that the surrounding environment plays a key role in defining a person’s cultural identity, other a

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