IELTS WRITING TASK 2: CRIME RATE AMONG TEENAGERS.

Question

Nowadays the crime rate is increasing, especially among teenagers. What are the reasons behind it? How can we reverse this trend?

In recent decades, more teenagers engage in criminal activities, which puts pressure on the society. This essay will look at some primary causes of this and offer some possible solutions to the problem.

There are a number of reasons for rising frequency of offence among youngsters. The first reason is that young wrongdoers often lack care and love from their parents who are subjected to a hectic schedule in the workplace. As a result, they have to resort to committing crime as a way to attract attention from parents. For example, they socialize with friends from dysfunctional families, immitating their negative vices and venturing to criminal acts to make their parents regretful for focusing too much on their employment. Another reason for this is poor living condition. Poor parents are unable to provide teens with decent education and satisfy their basic needs, which prompts them to engage in juvenile activities such as stealing, pickpocketing or even murder in order to get the money for their needs. As a consequence, more youngsters have to commit offence as a last resort.

There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the increasing rate of juvenile deliquency. Firstly, employers ought to cut employment time for employees who have children. Doing this ensures that they can spend more valuable quality time with children, which makes them feel loved and cared by their parents. Therefore, they will have no motive to engage in wrongdoings, and companies would also benefit from an increase in work productivity as their workers have more free time to rest. Secondly, government can take steps by subsidizing tuition fees for poor children, which not only helps them to reach their full potential but also deters them from committing crimes as a way of making a living.

In conclusion, there are various factors leading to the rising levels of crime among teens and measures should be taken to address this issue.

(320 words)

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Your essay is too long. Longer essays seldom get good marks.

In recent decades, more teenagers are engaging ~~engage~~ in criminal activities, which puts pressure on ~~the~~ society. ~~This essay will look at some primary causes of this and offer some possible solutions to the problem~~.

The examiner knows you are going to write an essay on this topic. It is very substandard to tell them what they know already. You are not giving any information about your answer. Never mention your essay or what you are going to write about. Instead, write a thesis statement. That is a brief summary and introduction to your line of reasoning.

Here is an example thesis statement:

Parents who are too busy to guide them, rising poverty, and bad influences of peers are the causes, and education is a the best solution for improving this situation..

There are a number of reasons for rising frequency of criminal offences among juveniles. ~~youngsters~~. (wrong word. In the US, a youngster is a pre-teenager. This is a casual word. ) The first reason is that they ~~young wrongdoers~~ (Learn to use pronouns to avoid awkward synonym) often lack care and love from their working parents who have ~~are subjected to~~ a hectic schedule ~~in the workplace~~. As a result, ~~they have to~~ some resort to committing crime as a way to attract attention from parents. For example, they socialize with friends from dysfunctional families, immitating their ~~negative vices~~ (There is no such thing as a positive vice. ) bad behavior and venturing into criminal acts to make their parents regret ~~regretful for~~ focusing too much on their jobs. ~~employment~~. Another reason for this is poor living conditions. Poor parents are unable to provide teens with a decent education and satisfy their basic needs, which prompts them to engage in ~~juvenile~~ unlawful activities such as stealing, pickpocketing or even murder in order to get the money for things they want. ~~their needs~~. (Usually juveniles steal money to buy things that will impress their peers like expensive athletic shoes and fashion items, electronic gadgets and jewelry.) As a consequence, more youngsters have to get money by illegal means ~~commit offence~~ as a last resort.

There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the increasing rate of juvenile deliquency. ~~Firstly~~, First, employers ought to cut the work hours of ~~employment time~~ (Employment time is the number of years and months a person has held a job.) for employees who have children. Doing this ensures that they can spend more valuable quality time with their children, which makes them feel loved and cared by their parents. ~~Therefore, they will have no motive to engage in wrongdoings, and~~ (This is not necessary. Trim sentences to cut the length of your essay) Companies would also benefit from an increase in work productivity as their workers have more free time for recreational activities. ~~to rest~~. ~~Secondly~~, Second, the government can take steps by subsidizing tuition fees for poor children, which not only helps them to reach their full potential but also deters them from committing crimes ~~as a way of making a living~~.

In conclusion, there are various causes of ~~factors leading to~~ the rising levels of crime among teens such as inattentive parents, poverty and peer pressure. ~~and measures~~ Support from employers and the government should be promoted ~~taken~~ to address this issue. (Your conclusion must give a brief summary of the argument points.)

Anonymous · Answer

Rate of crime in youngsters has drastically improved in the recent times among several countries. However, the causes behind improving rate of crime are many but also It can be guided through proper guidance from well wishers.

To start with, teenagers always have to be guided by someone in a proper direction as they do that because of boredom as they may be restricted for not going out and forced to stay back at home which may lead to imagining to do things in a wrong way without intimation to their parents. For instance, a boy who is a son of a thief having seen his father doing such things, he may be influenced by him and do the same which may made him think that it is not anything wrong which can be argued that the mistake is from the side of father.

Adding on, youngsters need to have proper education where get to know what is right and what is not to have a better future and better life. Furthermore, making them participate in different activities such as sports will also help them to not do any illegal activities which is against the law. For example, In colleges and schools many children are guided by many mentors and also proper rules are followed as a part of education which make them learn not to do any crimes.

In conclusion, the crimes among teenagers can be reduced by proper rules and mentorship that makes them focus on their future. Youngsters are the future of any society so it is important to take care of them with proper nurturing so they make the future the better one to live.

IELTS WRITING TASK 2: CRIME RATE AMONG TEENAGERS.

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