IELTS WRITING TASK 2. COULD YOU GUYS HELP ME TO IMPROVE MY ESSAY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Some individuals argue that there is a myriad of people becoming reliable on others while others say that the public makes strenuous efforts to be independent. From my perspective, I totally agree with the latter idea.

On the one hand, I admit that asking for help from others is truly inevitable in today’s word. Without the support from counterparts, it is said that some people would find it hard to fulfill all duties. A good example of this is that employees working in workplaces are immensely reliable on each other on a regular basis. When a man has to deal with numerous tasks that he hardly finishes in a particular period of given deadline, support from his companions will be one of the advantageous choices that he could make.

On the other hand, I am of the opinion that being independent is becoming increasingly a ubiquitous trend. Some people believe that the human race, especially the young generation, need to rely on themselves with a view to taking care of not only their personal lives but also protecting their families. As the society has always been tempting and demanding, it is essential for them to get out of the comfort zone which acts as a deterrent to their maturity. Should they are barely taught about becoming an independent individual, they will struggle to survive in this planet, particularly in the competitive labor market. Therefore, relying on parents or relatives is an abject habit that the public should not develop.

In conclusion, although the demand for help is unavoidable in the 21st century, I am an advocate of the idea that we should accomplish most of the work on ourselves first.