IELTS WRITING TASK 2 CORRECTION PLEASE HELP

“Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too invaluable to be shared freely.
Discuss both views and five your opinion.”

Information, or knowledge, is always considered as mutual achievement of human beings. While some people hold the view that information should be shared widely to all, the others are of the opinion that it needs to be kept as secrets due to its value as well as importance. This essay will discuss both view in depth.

Thanks to the contribution of our ancestors in the past, who devoted their initiatives and experience to form the modern world in which we are now living. It is generally believed that any inventions must be assessed and verified by the public before applying into practice and that is the reason why information should be shared widely. When people are able to access new ideas, they will compare and contrast if the information is reliable. When it comes to scientific reasearch or academic world, the lead scientists should provide information publicly in order to ensure that everyone can catch up with the latest knowledge, especially in this fast-changing age when everything can change in a second. In addition, it is essential to share knowledge in term of business. As a matter of fact, when the governments and companies can all access cutting-edge technology, they can empower their influence and make positive affects on economic growth in national, regional or even global scale.

As the second view is put into consideration, I am firmly convinced that it depends on the purpose of information research. If that information results from a government or organization which has invested a significant fund to built a project, it is probably perceived as their own property. Similarly, it should not be opened freely if it serves for a specific purpose such as joinning a science competition. In some cases, information should not be widen due to safety and stability reasons of a society. For instance, many national top secrets have been kept strictly in the past because it involved lots of internal issues. They might be revealed at a certain appropriate time in future.

On the whole, depending on the purpose of information that people can make decisions to reveal or to hold it as secrets. If it serves for community’s benefits, we should give them freely.