Ielts writing task 2

Please help me correct my essay and give me a score if possible.

As a result of traditional dependence on fossil fuels which has contributed the environmental problems, several countries have invested in alternative energy sources . I personally believe that current development is positive as well as negative.

On the one hand, there are a number of major disadvantages when people’s demands for using electric devices are building up significantly. The first drawback is that renewables depend on the weather. For example, there is rarely sunshine in the winter that means we are barely collecting solar energy in this season. Besides, it is the same for wind power. Winds also rely on the climate. Another negative effect is that not all alternatives is a safe energy source. There are many debates about nuclear energy which can lead to nuclear radiation accidents, pose potential threats to human and ecology.

On the other hand, there are more essential benefits than drawbacks. At first, almost renewables are safe for human’s health and friendly with environment. For example, alternative energy sources are wind, solar power and hydropower that do not release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. In contrast, fossil fuels such are used to produce energy such as coal, gas and oil which emit a lot of greenhouse gas that is the main reason of global warming. More than that, alternatives are not limited and expensive. People can exploit these energy permanently and the exploitation fee is more cheaper than mining fossil fuels.

In conclusion, the positive effect is more significant. However, scientists need to enhance how to generate the amount of energy and the safety of nuclear power.