IELTS Writing task 2

This is my completed academic writing task 2. Please point out my mistakes and give me a band score for each criterion if possible. Thanks in advance!

Topic:

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today.

What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

Regarding environmental issues, global warming is one of the most debatable challenges that the world is encountering up to present. There are several causes for that issue while some measures can be taken to address the situation.

When it comes to this problem, deforestation is considered one of the major contributors which has exacerbated the situation. Since trees absorb the carbon dioxide from the air, a huge number of trees logged results in a large amount of carbon dioxide remaining in the atmosphere. To illustrate, the recorded carbon dioxide is constantly escalating when four million trees are cut down each year. Deforestation accounts for about 15 percent of global carbon emissions, more than the sum total of cars and trucks in the world. One of measures that could be implemented to tackle this issue is the government should impose stricter punishment for illegal logging and forest clearance. Apart from the officials, individuals should actively take part in afforestation community activities, which greatly contributes to the earth’s green atmosphere.

Another cause is that air conditioners are increasingly exploited for cooling demand worldwide. In more detail, the more powerful planet-warming gases from the machines are discharged outside, the more global temperatures are rising. Especially, there is an upward trend in selecting air conditioners for making spaces cooler in some areas such as the United States, the Middle East and Asia. To mitigate this issue, the governments should promulgate education about the negative environmental impacts of air conditioners for people, particularly for each family. Inhabitants would tend to limit their usage if they were knowledgeable about the great damage to their own environment. As individuals, it would be better if residents planted more trees in the garden to create shadows and used alternative appliances such as evaporative coolers.

In conclusion, deforestation and air conditioner overuse are two culprits behind global warming. If the solutions mentioned above are worked out effectively, the severe threat can be alleviated and the earth can be saved.