IELTS WRITING TASK 2

PLEASE EVALUATE MY WRITING. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

In both education and employment, some people work much harder than others. What makes people work harder than others? It is always a good thing to work hard.

Many people are more tenacious than others when it comes to education and employment. From my perspective, this inclination chiefly emerges from different personal pursuits and it is beneficial in the aggregate.

First and foremost, it is an undisputed fact that personal goals dictate the amount of effort that a particular person put into education and career. For students aiming to achieve desirable positions after graduation, they are more likely to spend time studying instead of going out with friends to enhance their academic performance as potential employers often prioritize applicants who have better formal qualifications. Meanwhile, less goal-oriented students only work enough to pass the subjects with average scores. This also applies in the workforce. For instance, ambitious employees have an inclination to shoulder more responsibility and search for opportunities to improve their skills, while mediocre ones often procrastinate to do their assigned work and avoid heavy work.

Personally, conscientiousness is an intrinsic trait essential for further development in both education and employment. Compared to their lazier counterparts, hardworking students often stand a higher chance of being admitted to prestigious schools and enterprises, which is claimed to offer the promise of a brilliant career in the future. For employees, diligence helps to ensure rapid progression in their jobs. This is because if they get their work done efficiently, they will be more likely to be considered for promotions by employers and respected by colleagues. Having higher positions also means a wider network, which can assist them when they encounter hurdles in the future.

In conclusion, different levels of motivation is the primary factor why some people work harder than the others, and I believe that this is an admirable trait for individuals as it brings about valuable future opportunities.