IELTS WRITING TASK 2

Question

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or play  classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?Latter-day young generation is becoming more familiar with dynamic sounds such as: Pop, EDM, Rap… than classical music for many reasons. Only minute amounts of the young have an indulgence in enjoying this gentle and deep melody. From my point of view, everyone should have an appreciation of classical music as its vast benefits for our lives.To most young people, classical music seems like a one way ticket to the blues when they hear them. Because the stable and balanced tones of its, many people feel like a sad story or even sleepy. In addition, by all accounts, music is supposed to reflect our lives through the time. Indeed, our living environment has changed so much for hundreds of years since the classical music was invented so it can be easy to explain why today young people  don’t want to listen this.Classical music having lasted for hundreds of years is still play today as a placebo effect to help people release stress in modern life. Moreover, Some researches have demonstrated that the Alpha waves in classical music can be also helpful in regenerating and stimulating our nerve cell better. That is the reason why you sometimes come across any coffee or chill pub playing this kind of music with lots of people studying or relaxing after work. For the second reason, classical music is considered as traditional and intangible heritage in some countries. This is a chance for us to attract tourists all over the world going that countries so as to experience this kind of music. Needless to say, when we have lots of travelers meaning that we create more jobs and revenues for the young in the future. Therefore, the young generation have a responsibility for preserving this precious music for the humans through the time.In conclusion, we can’t compel young people to align with classical music immediately. It should have a clear route by organizations and schools to help them gradually familiarize with this. I hope that the young won’t waste this epic crate from previous generations.[ THANKS FOR READING END OF MY ESSAY ^^, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHICH BAND THAT I MAYBE ACHIEVE AND YOUR RECOMMENDATION?. HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AND BEST WISHES TO YOU!]

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You wrote nearly 350 words.

The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task completion or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples.

Fourth, you will take a lot of time writing, and not have time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time to spend on Task 1, and get a lower score there.

Aim to write around 270 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.

You are trying to use sophisticated words that you do not understand well. Your writing is obscure and incomprehensible. You make many usage mistakes. I found it very difficult to follow the arguments. Such writing cannot score better than 3 or 4. You have the ability to score much higher. But you must use words and phrases that you understand very very well. Also, it will help if you write about something you have knowledge of. For example, write about the classical music in your country rather than generalizing to everywhere in the world.

Latter-day (The only use I have ever seen of this phrase is the name of a religion: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And I have no idea what they mean by latter-day saints, since I have never investigated the sect. It is really bad form to start an essay with a strange phrase. ) young generation is becoming more familiar with (That does not seem like a correct verb or phrase. If you become familiar with something, you do not know it very well. ). dynamic sounds such as: Pop, EDM (What is EDM? Do not use rare acronyms in formal writing.) , Rap… (Do not use ellipses in formal writing.) than classical music for many reasons. (Give the reader a hint at your reasons. "For many reasons" is too vague. Only minute amounts (wrong usage That is for non-count words. e.g. minute amounts of arsenic can kill you.) of the young have an indulgence (wrong usage) in enjoying this gentle and deep melody. (Which song are you talking about? A melody is the main theme of a particular song. You have not mentioned any song.) From my point of view, everyone should have an appreciation of classical music as its vast benefits (wrong usage) for our lives.

To most young people, classical music seems like a one way ticket to the blues (Do not use idioms that you do not understand. "the blues" is a type of music. It is not classical music. It is best for beginning writers to avoid idioms altogether, because you get yourself into trouble with multiple meanings.) when they hear them. (wrong pronoun.) Because the stable and balanced tones (I don't know what you are talking about. Define the particular music you are describing. Are you referring to Vietnamese classical music?) of its, (wrong usage. You need a noun after the possessive "it") many people feel like a sad story or even sleepy. (I cannot imagine someone feeling sleepy when listening to the 1812 Overture. Watch the video - especially the last minute! I also posted Ravel's Bolero - it will wake you up.) In addition, by all accounts, music is supposed to reflect our lives through the time. (That does not make sense.) Indeed, our living environment has changed so much for hundreds of years since ~~the~~ classical music was invented (I do not know what you mean. What year was this?) so it can be easy to explain why today young people don’t (Do not use contractions in formal writing.) want to listen this.

Classical music (comma) having lasted for hundreds of years (comma) is still play (wrong form) today as a placebo effect (wrong phrase. This is not an appropriate usage..) to help people release stress in modern life. Moreover, Some researches (wrong form - research is non-count.) have demonstrated that ~~the~~ Alpha waves (wrong usage. There are no alpha waves in classical music.) in classical music can be also helpful in regenerating and stimulating our nerve cell (Do we have only one nerve cell in our bodies?) ~~better~~. That is the reason why you sometimes come across any coffee or chill pub playing (Can a coffee bar play the guitar?) this kind of music with lots of people studying or relaxing after work. For the second reason, classical music is considered as traditional ~~and intangible heritage~~ (Not a good phrase - ungrammatical) in some countries. This is a chance (Is music a chance? - It is not natural English. You mean that "Traditional music concerts will attract tourists...." ) for us (wrong pronoun) to attract tourists all over the world going that (wrong pronoun) countries so as to experience this kind of music. Needless to say, when we have lots of travelers meaning (ungrammatical) that we create more jobs and revenues (revenue is non-count. Do not use the plural form.) for the young in the future. Therefore, the young generation have a responsibility for preserving this precious music for future generations. ~~the humans through the time~~. (Unnatural English).

In conclusion, we can’t compel young people to align with (wrong verb) classical music immediately. It should have a clear route by organizations and schools (Do not add new information or ideas in the summary paragraph. Restate your position and review briefly your argument points..) to help them gradually familiarize (wrong usage) with this. I hope that the young won’t waste (wrong verb) this epic crate (wrong phrase ) from previous generations.

( That is slightly off-topic. Focus only on the topic.)

IELTS WRITING TASK 2

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions