Ielts writing task 2

Hi everyone. I'm self-training my IELTS writing skill and I don't have a tutor. So I look forward to receiving your assessment from this essay to improve my writing skill and please tell me what band score this essay is. Thank you in advance with my whole heart.

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that museums and art exhibition centers have become obsolete because of the dominance of modern technological appliances such as computer allow people to see historical artifacts or art products through their screens. Personally, I think that this is a narrow perspective because I believe that these destinations are not simply places to visit.

It is true that computer and cutting-edge technology in general play an indispensable part in modern life. As a result, searching the information and pictures about historical objects or artworks have become so much more straightforward compared to that of the past. With the push of a button, people now can have access to everything they want to see regardless of geological locations. This practice does bring a large amount of benefits. The most obvious one is that people no longer have to pay for the cost of traveling as well as entrance tickets at these destinations. This deal of budget savings therefore can be spent on other vital demands such as education or healthcare.

However, I would argue that the significant role that museums and art galleries take in society is irreplaceable despite the polularity of computer. By coming to visit these places, people would gain the most authentic experience which the information and pictures on the Internet cannot offer. It is always an incredible feeling to be able to touch and see vivid objects by your own senses. Moreover, museums and art galleries often employ professional guides who will present the adequate volume of information for visitors which might not be found on the Internet. Finally, historical and art sites serve as tangible cultural heritages of a nation which attract millions of foreign tourists every year. This means that the amount of financial profits which derive from these places also contribute to a country's so-economic development.

In conclusion, it seems to me that museums and art galleries still retain their vitality to the prosperity of a nation and therefore should not be eradicated. Given this sistuation, promotions and upgradings on these sites should be high on the agenda of every government.