IELTS Writing Task 2

Can you check my essay for me, please? Thank you very much. Here is my topic.

Topic: Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

My essay:

In televised debates, violence on television programs and in computer games is at the forefront. However, some people remain divided over whether it is the content or the duration over which children sit in front of the television that affects their behavior. In this essay, I will go to prove that watching violence on television and games adversely influences many children of how they act and think will do more harm than good.

On the one hand, people who consume lots of violent shows become less sympathetic towards victims of violence. The young tend to imitate whatever captivates them, and the attention-grabbing nature of television facilitates this tendency. For example, children are quick to parrot catchphrases on their favorite shows, or the lyrics to a catchy jingle. Another reason is that many TV programs and movies contain violent content or sexual images that are inappropriate for children to watch. Heavy exposure to violent movies can put a child at a higher risk of violent behavior, which could ruin their future.

On the other hand, I personally believe that television has a critical part to play in children's development. Watching educational Tv shows gives children a chance to broaden their horizons and enrich their knowledge of the world in which they live. Moreover, parents need to assert strict control of what children are viewing to protect children from violent content on television and video games. In addition, government and regulators must ensure that no violence is broadcast on television during prime time when all members of the family, including children, watch television.

In conclusion, I would argue that violence on television and in video games has adverse effects on human behavior. Violence not only desensitizes people but also leads to aggressive behavior.