IELTS Writing task 2

Could you please help me review this essay? Thank you very much.
Prompt: Some people think good health is a basic human need so medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages outweight the advantages?
Everyone aspires to stay healthy, thereby good healthcare service is a necessity. That inevitably leads to the criticism of services provided by private organizations, whose motives are mainly driven by profits. From my perspective, despite some cost and ethical problems that private healthcare systems may bring, the systems still have far more advantages than drawbacks.
On the one hand, it is understandable why the private healthcare sector can be disfavored for two major reasons. Firstly and most obviously, private medical treatments cost more than public ones in general. Since the government has no control over the pricing of private healthcare services, the companies are free to charge their patients for the prescriptions and expensive equipments as much as they like. As a result, their services may not be affordable to everyone but the rich. The quality of treatment is the second concern as private organizations tend to be profit-oriented. If they let their monetary gains determine their treatment decisions, a patient, for example, may be made to stay under their care for a longer period of time than they should, which is evidently unethical.
On the other hand, private healthcare can prove beneficial to the public in various ways. In exchange to their overpriced medical bills, private clinics provide far faster services, which is convenient to those who have urgent care needs. Contrarily, patients are usually made to wait for several hours for check-ups in public hospitals. Some even have to go to the length of taking a day off work just to queue in a long line since early morning. Another advantage that private sector have over public one is their accessibility to remote areas, where minorities would have no choice but to travel a long way to the nearest public hospital. With the local private clinics established in rural and mountainous areas, many lives can be saved in terms of emergency, and people are encouraged to have regular check-ups in which they can detect any health problem at an earlier stage.
In conclusion, I agree healthcare service provided by private organizations can be costly and questionable at times. Yet, they serve more benefits than harms to out society as a whole, therefore their operations should be maintained alongside the public healthcare sector to effectively accommodate different medical needs of people from a variety of backgrounds.