IELTS Writing Task 2

Question

Hi, AlpheccaStarsPlease help me to check this essay. Thank you very muchTopic: The charts below show information about the number of fish caught and the number of fishing boats used in Westhaven. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. My essay:The data give information about the total of fish catch and the total fishing vessel used in Westhaven from 2008 to 2011.  Overall, the number of fishing boats that were used did not affect the number of tuna which were caught. However, it did appear to affect the number of swordfish. When there were more boats, more swordfish were caught.To begin with, the number of tuna fish rose dramatically from 85.ooo in 2008 to the peaked at 110.000 in 2011. This growth constantly happened to 100.000 and 110.000 in 2009 and 2010 respectively. In contrast, the swordfish caught was totally shown a fluctuated trend around 50.000 (2008), 120.000 (2009), 70.000 (2010) and 110.000 (2011). Nevertheless, this swordfish indicated a moderately went up in 2010 to 2011, this fish had already declined from 2009 to 2010 by 30.000 amount of fish. These rare conditions were still unknown what factors influenced with, the environmental or just in case the change of population of swordfish.On the other hand, numbers of fishing boats operated in 2008 were 50 boats. After that, in 2009, they rose to 55 and fell to approximately 42. The highest number of boats happened in 2011, 70 on average.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The data give information about the ~~total of~~ fish catch and the ~~total~~ fishing fleet ~~vessel~~ ~~used~~ in Westhaven from 2008 to 2011. (You need to describe the figures in more detail. For example, there are two bar charts. There are four time points, one for each year.)

Overall, the number of fishing boats that were used did not a

Overall, the number of fishing boats that were used did not affect the number of tuna which were caught. However, it did appear to affect the number of swordfish. When there were more boats, more swordfish were caught.

The vocabulary word you need is "correlation." The number of swordfish caught is loosely correlated with the number of fishing boats. Use "loosely" because the correlation is not perfect. For example, there were fewer boats in 2010 than in 2008, but more swordfish were caught in 2010 than in 2008.

To begin with, the number of tuna fish rose ~~dramatically~~ (How do you describe the shape of the curve?) from 85.ooo in 2008 to the peaked (Incorrect. There is no peak on the chart. "Peaked" is the past tense of the verb "peak". You have used it like a noun, which is grammatically incorrect. ) at 110.000 in 2011. This growth constantly happened to 100.000 and 110.000 in 2009 and 2010 respectively. In contrast, the swordfish caught was totally shown a fluctuated (wrong word) trend (wrong word) around 50.000 (2008), 120.000 (2009), 70.000 (2010) and 110.000 (2011). Nevertheless, this swordfish (One particular fish?) indicated a moderately went up (ungrammatical) in 2010 to 2011, this fish (One fish?) had already declined from 2009 to 2010 by 30.000 ~~amount of fish~~. These rare conditions were still unknown what factors influenced with, the environmental or just in case the change of population of swordfish.

(This is a conjecture, opinion or conclusion. Do not write such things in Task 1.)

On the other hand, (Incorrect transition phrase.

Use "on the one hand", "on the other hand" for opposite opinions or points of view. For example:
On the one hand, education paid by the government is good for families and their children.
On the other hand, it is not good for single people because they have to pay higher taxes to support the schools.)

numbers of fishing boats operated in 2008 were 50 boats. (Incorrect English. There were 50 fishing boats...) After that, in 2009, they rose to 55 and fell to approximately 42. The highest number of boats ~~happened~~ was in 2011, 70 ~~on average.~~ (The chart does not show averages.)

Here are some line graphs to show you examples of the words peak, fluctuation and trend.

Peak: This graph shows two peaks in the price of gold. The values must go up and then come down. Your chart does not show a "peak" in the tuna catch.

Trends and fluctuations. A trend is when the values go up or down over time. The tuna catch is trending higher during the years 2008 and 2011. A fluctuation is when the values go up and down very quickly around a midpoint. These graphs show fluctuations and trends. With only 4 data points, you cannot see a pattern of fluctuation.

Variations: All data will show variations, or minor changes from a trend line. Some charts can be divided into segments. The homeowner rates in the US trended up from 1995 to 2004, when it peaked and plateaued for two years. In 2006, a downward trend began, which continued through 2014. Throughout the entire period, there were variations of 1-2 percent above and below the trend lines.

Anonymous · Answer

Could you tell me the name of this book, please?

IELTS Writing Task 2

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