Ielts Writing task 2

Please review my essay for Writing task 2. Thank you so much !
"Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

Some hobbies might be easy, while others are extremely difficult. Personally, I agree that a hobby does not need to be difficult to be entertaining.

On the one hand, hobbies that are easy can be fun. Without needing to put much effort into it, people can feel a sense of relaxation, as well as joy. For example, swimming is a simple hobby. Although does not require any equipments other than swimsuit, and it is inexpensive, it still helps people to relax in their free time. Besides, people can have more than one hobby, as each one is simple enough for them to focus on various fields.

On the other hand , more complicated hobbies can also be entertaining in their own ways. The more people put effort into doing something, the more satisfaction they will get when things go successfully. Interests such as composing music, or illustrating paintings are good examples. Not only do people need to wait for the inspiration to come, but they also have to spend a lot of money on them , such as buying painting tools , or musical instruments. In my case, sometimes it takes me a month to bear an idea for my drawing. Once I have completed the hardest part, I try even harder to finish the rest of the painting. Therefore, difficult hobbies might bring even greater joy.

In conclusion, hobbies are made to entertain people, whether they are hard or easy.