IELTS Writing task 2

Hi tutors! Can you please check my essay for the topic below? Thank you so much!

Topic: When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. Do you agree or disagree?

People seem to select their job based on the money they could get every month. While I accept that this may suit many people, I believe that salary is not the key point.

On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why people should choose a high-paying job. One reason is that being offered a good salary, employees will have enough money to have a good quality of life. For example, people with a good-paid job can afford a luxurious holiday at famous destinations or even travel abroad. Moreover, they are able to pay for lots of good equipments such as the latest smartphones, cars,… Another reason is that working for a high-paying company, people can save much more money than others. Therefore, they are willing to retire earlier with a huge fortune for the rest of their life.

On the other hand, job satisfaction is a considerable factor since many employees tend to do their preferred job. It is easy to see that people are likely to have the best performance when doing their favorite things, however high the salary is. By contrast, people receiving a lot of money are usually under pressure, which makes them not perform as well as their peers.

In conclusion, it is certainly true that taking salary into consideration when looking for a job might be significant to someone, but this is by no means the most integral part for every individual.