IELTS writing task 2
Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?
It is a highly debatable issue whether the government should spend money on healthcare and education rather than sports stadiums and theatres. In my opinion, all of these things are very important for a country and therefore, the government should allocate equal resources for both.
On the one hand, medical services and facilities are playing a crucial role in our society. If people are healthy, the productivity of workers will be ensured, which contribute significantly to the development of a nation. Furthermore, due to the climate change all around the world leading to many health problems, it is the governments’ responsibility to provide enough medical care to their citizens. Adequate education facilities are also the duty of the government. The more sufficient the education is offered, the higher the standard of living will be.
On the other hand, the importance of theatres and sports stadiums should not be overlooked, as art and entertainment is a basic human need. To begin with, artistic performance is not only an activity to preserve the traditional customs and cultural values, it is also the means of entertaining. For example, after a hard-working day, colleagues are usually going to music shows, which are often held in theatres, in order to relax and amuse themselves. Lastly, sport stadium is the place where people are connected, as it attracts millions of spectators to watch matches every year. For instance, many people around the world take part in World Cup soccer event, they share the same interest towards football regardless of language and cultural barriers.
To summarize, while healthcare and education is an essential concern of general public, it is also true that theatrical or sports events are also basic needs. Therefore, the government should invest in both these things.
Could you pls correct my essay and give some feedbacks? thanks in advance
Top answer
The first sentence does not add much to your essay, and does not adequately restate the topic sentence. Also, the question was not "how should government allocate its spending between these two categories" so you did not give a very good response. It is a highly debatable issue whether the government should spend money on healthcare and education rather than sports stadiums and theatres.
- The first sentence does not add much to your essay, and does not adequately restate the topic sentence.
- Also, the question was not "how should government allocate its spending between these two categories" so you did not give a very good response.
- It is a highly debatable issue whether the government should spend money on healthcare and education rather than sports stadiums and theatres.
- In my opinion, all of these things are very important for a country and therefore, the government should allocate equal resources to both.
- On the one hand, medical services and facilities are playing (not the best form) a crucial role in our society.
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The first sentence does not add much to your essay, and does not adequately restate the topic sentence. Also, the question was not "how should government allocate its spending between these two categories" so you did not give a very good response.
It is a highly debatable issue whether the government should spend money on healthcare and education rather than sports stadiums and the
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