Ielts writing task 2

Please help me to correct and explain the mistakes in my essay

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Some people think zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoos are helpful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are question marks over whether zoos should be closed due to their lack of morality or should be kept because of their crucial roles in preserving endangered species. In this essay, both of views will be clarified before my personal perspective is provided.

To begin with, caging animals in zoos is considered as a merciless way to treat these creatures. Firstly, the natural habitat, which is a fundamental factor of a living species, can be under the threat of loss. Although zoos do provide the wildlife-based atmosphere, there are still artificial environments which animals cannot hunt and breed freely. This capture, consequently, will sometimes lead to the gradual incline in living species, since several animals cannot adapt to this manmade life and reproduce, some even die out. Secondly, many zoos display the animal with the aim of making money. In other words, many creatures are used for entertaining people like in a circuit, leading to the higher profit to some individuals. Furthermore, many visitors can unintentionally harm these animals, for example, they can feed these species unsuitable foods, or disturb their habit.

On the other hand, we should also emphasize the paramount importance of zoo in protecting creatures which in verge of extinction. The first benefit is zoos offer a safe-zone for animals to avoid the environmental threat such as natural disasters like flood or manmade issues like deforestation. Additionally, keeping these species in zoos also help them to prevent the danger from their predators, thus increase the chance of survival. The second advantage is that zoos allow people to broaden their mind about natural world. Zoos bring opportunities for scientists and biologists to study more about animals’ behaviors and lifestyle, therefore can find the best way to protect them. Similarly, the public, especially children can be raised awareness about wildlife. Visiting zoos can be brought into school curriculum as a teaching method so that student can have overall knowledge about rare animals and how to preserve them.

In conclusion, despite some mentioned disadvantages, I believe zoos bring more good than harm. There are both the government and the public’s responsibilities to make sure that zoos work in the most effective way.